well, today is credibly the best day of my life. In mere hours I will be heading to Philadelphia to see One Direction on their Where We Are Tour, and I ‘m so arouse I feel like I ‘m going to vomit. Though my face looks like that of a child and my voice is what I imagine a speak newborn would sound like, I am, in fact, an adult woman. Reconciling my senesce and my affinity for One Direction is n’t a problem for me, but for others—wow—they do not get it. In ordering to put all the h8ers in place and look fly as sin ( and possibly win the affections of the band members ), I need to look, um, the best I ‘ve ever looked. No coerce, self. anyhow, in deciding what to wear, I pored over approx. 1 billion outfits and settled on a few possibilities. here is what to wear when you ‘re an pornographic going to a One direction concert :
A ROMPER
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PROS: These printed rompers are real cute and exude good what a twist charwoman you are. A woman who is weather enough to wear a one-piece outfit to a concert, where, as a adolescent, you would ‘ve feared spilling mustard on yourself. In your previous historic period and wisdom, you know how to stop spills before they happen. CONS: Wearing a romper is annoying, period. You basically have to de-robe to go to the toilet, and who wants to be in a stadium toilet for longer than necessary ? A DRESS![]()
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PROS: While most of your concert peers are probably going to be in, like, # JORTS and crop tops, you can show them what it ‘s like to be an adult and wear a dress. You ‘re a ladylike adult, according to these dresses. You ‘re not a grandma by any means—hello, the tartan one has suggestive bluff panels—but you ‘ve mastered the art of sitting on a fold chair with your legs crossed. CONS: When you ‘re undoubtedly overcome with the motivation to stand on said folding moderate, all the children behind you will have an inappropriate view. They wo n’t remember what funny story thing Liam said onstage because they ‘ll be excessively busy staring at your underwear. A SUIT![]()
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PROS: You’ll—once again—redefine for these kids what being an “ adult ” means these days. Look at you : You ‘re cool, you like One Direction, but you besides pay your rent on time and have a job that requires a befit. These satiny and solid suits will take you right from the agency to the prove. The best depart ? You bought the suit and your ticket to the picture yourself.
CONS: Compared to teens, you may look honest-to-god. You know what does n’t get erstwhile, though ? not having to ask your ma for money to buy peanuts. # yaburnt A MATCHING SET![]()
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PROS: You ‘ll look wholly on-trend and polished adjacent to your seatmates, who designed their own white T-shirts for the occasion. besides, if you wear the bubbling one, there is simply no way Niall could miss you from the stage. That ‘s the goal, right ? CONS: There may be a lot of matching sets in the crowd because they ‘re so popular correct now. You may even encounter a person seven years your junior in the like set up as you, in which case, you may be forced to leave the concert before you die of embarrassment. A WEDDING DRESS![]()
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PROS: Um, actually everything ? Zayn, Niall, Louis, Harry, and Liam will know your intentions right off the cricket bat and may even call attention to you. besides, this head covering is very Rihanna.
CONS: nothing. Of class, in the long run, what you wear does n’t truly matter because, um, the enticement to tear your clothes off the second they run out onstage will overcome you. Or so I expect .
